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“Oh with all that I’ve done wrong, I must of done something right, To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.” – Butterfly Kisses, Bob Carlisle

My daughters are only 8 and 9 years, yet the song “Butterfly Kisses” (usually played during weddings) tugs at my heart. It speaks of a father reminiscing; of acceptance of his downs as father and the victories as well. It is an honest assessment, and from the storyline, I can consider him a successful father, so far. I could only wish that I can be one.

“She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes And I thank God for all of the joy in my life”

I pray that my kids will be prayerful and have an intimate relationship with God. I must be the example that they can see, in words and in action.

“Walk beside the pony Daddy, it’s my first ride I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried”

I would like my daughters to be assured of my presence and support. I would like them to have the confidence and grounding to try new things, to love learning, to be curious, to see failures as temporary.

“Sweet sixteen today She’s looking like her Mama, a little more everyday. One part woman, the other part girl To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls. Trying her wings out in a great big world”

As Iani and Tesa grow older, may they emulate Gina, their mother, my wife; to grow up as women of God, who look up to Mary as their model. As they mature and change, I pray that I will be able to hold their hand yet, learn to let them walk alone so they can stand on their feet, to feel and find their own place in the world.

“You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don’t mind I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.”

May I guard against being clueless about their development, of their needs as pre-teens, adolescents and adults, that they will not be babies forever, that I would have taught them to make the correct choices so they could decide on their own.

“She’ll change her name today, she’ll make a promise, and I’ll give her away. Standing in the bridegroom just staring at her She asks me what I’m thinking, and I said I’m not sure. I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl, and she leaned over…

Gave me butterfly kisses with her Mama there Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair. Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it’s just about time. Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry.”

And when the the right time comes, I will look back at their youth and hope that I have done as I should.

I was waiting for our meeting to start when I felt my chair rock slightly.
I was alarmed when the movement strengthened and got up. I went out the
meeting room to double check and saw only worried faces.

Earthquake!

Although the tremors lasted for only less than a minute, it seemed like
an eternity. All I could do was close my eyes and pray: Lord, please make
it stop.

One of the first thoughts that came to my mind was: I should have gone to
confession! I felt very afraid that something bad would happen and I was
not prepared to face God.

You see, I’ve been meaning to go to confession but have not found the time.
(Bad, I know!) I was preoccupied with lots of things and postponed availing
of the sacrament of reconciliation.

Where were you during that time? What would race through your head now if
you are faced with death?

When a calamity or life-threatening experience happens to us, we suddenly
realize and accept that we are not right with God. We instantly become remorseful
and have a change of heart. And ask for a second chance.

We have should never wait for tomorrow to restore our most important relationships.
Or an earthquake for that matter.

So, how is your relationship with God?

Do not wait. Come to Him now.

House M.D. is a popular TV medical series about Dr. Gregory House that is now on its sixth season. Dr. House is a highly-talented and intellectual character who heads the Diagnostic Department of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital that solves the most trivial and mysterious illnesses a lot of average doctors could have easily misdiagnosed. They work and solve cases in a “race against time” to give curative solutions to life-threatening illnesses. This is mainly the reason why even his anti-social, abrasive, addictive and unethical and atheistic personality is minimally protested by his own diagnostic team and even by the hospital administration.

In order for Dr. House’ team to solve their medical mysteries, they often engage themselves in what they called “differential diagnostics” where all the possibilities are discussed and debated upon to hopefully narrow down the choices for them to initiate calculated treatment. Between all the highfalutin medical terms and jargon, the basic components of their differential diagnostics boils down to two – symptoms and cause. As Dr. House would often assert that, “the symptoms will never lie and the cause can never be denied.”

Holy Week is just around the corner.

Unfortunately, a lot of us maybe still approaching this holy season with a spiritual affliction weighing us down. Some are still hooked on pornography and lustful thoughts. Some may still be hot-tempered. Some may still have a lot of anger and hatred brewing inside them against people they perceive to be evil-personified. Some still see themselves as spiritually-cut above the rest leading them to self-righteousness. Some are deeply attached to worldly fame, power and wealth. Some finds lying a norm and stealing subjective.

Fortunately for us Catholics, there is an equally efficient “differential diagnostics” for our spiritual afflictions to know the symptoms and causes  and in order for us to approach the most loving way to repent and mend our ways. The Catholic Church in instituting the sacrament of Reconciliation has provided us with the most basic steps to self-spiritual diagnosis and fulfillment of receipt of God’s mercy and forgiveness.

(Recommended reading is 1422-1498 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for full understanding of the sacrament of Reconciliation;  or copy-paste this this link into your browser  – http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm )

1. Examination of Conscience.

Our church has always given us guidelines like the Ten Commandments, Gospel readings and apostolic preachings as helpful guides towards attaining a good self-examination.

This step, when performed in utmost sincerity, can lead to fully knowing the symptoms and causes of our sinfulness. If you feel helpless at home and at work or a seething anger from sunrise until sundown, or even a simple uneasiness inside you during most of the day, then you know that something is amiss. If you can see and feel a sense of animosity or indifference from other people towards you, then it may likely be that you have done something wrong against them. Which begs you to ask this question intimately to yourself – What have I done wrong? What good have I not done? to those people around me and to myself? Most often than not, the honest replies to our own questions lies the righteous answers.

Be aware so we can repent.

2. Be Sorry for our Sins.

I once read before about one theologian asking this thought-provoking question – “Would Adolf Hitler have gone to heaven had he repented before his death?” To which his superior replied, “God’s mercy is limitless and His love is endless that no sin can supplant. If (and that is a big “if”) Hitler is able to become truly sorry for what he has done, then he will be forgiven and he can go to heaven.”

Jesus was still hanging on the cross when he forgave the thief and promised his place in heaven after his death. That thief has lived a wayward and criminal life all-throughout but was forgiven at the last minute because that last minute was the minute he was truly sorry for his sins and seek God’s forgiveness.

Be truly sorry and be open to forgiveness.

3. Act of Contrition

This is closely related to being sorry for the sins because this involves the firm resolution to not commit the same sin again. Efforts must be made to ensure that the trappings of the temptations of the same sins will not easily over-run our resolve to live a righteous life.

On the other hand, not everybody believes that getting up from their stumbling blocks, even if it means several times, is also acceptable. Excluding willful recidivism, sinners who acknowledge their weakness and dependence on God understands that holiness is the part of the journey of forgiveness and not the end-all be-all. When we make the commitment to resolve not to sin, we also entrust ourselves to His mercy and not to our own capability alone. The former inspires us to recover many times. The latter opens a trap for hopelessness. Our faith stagnates. This defeats the merciful purpose of God. Let us stand strong against temptations but weak in front of God’s call to repentance.

Be weak in order to be strong.

4. Confession

The confession (or disclosure) of sins, even from a simply human point of view, frees us and facilitates our reconciliation with others. Through such an admission man looks squarely at the sins he is guilty of, takes responsibility for them, and thereby opens himself again to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible. (CCC 1455)

Be heard through God’s shepherds.

5. Perform our Penance

Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused.⁶² Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must “make satisfaction for” or “expiate” his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.” (CCC 1459)

Be good because God is good.

This Lenten season, let us all be spiritually healed to be spiritually blessed and refreshed.
Always remember that our spiritual health is our heavenly wealth.
God bless.

How do you approach the season of Lent?

Ash on your forehead, fasting and abstinence, subdued music, maybe refraining from Facebook, not eating your favorite dessert or drinking soft drinks/beer/wine/alcohol or skipping that cup of brewed coffee and not puffing one stick until Easter? These are practices that usually associated with Lent.

Yet, I’ve come to realize that these are meaningless practices for Lent……..

If they are done just to test how long you can control yourself. If the purpose is to test your endurance, your discipline, your will power. While these are not bad in themselves, these are not the reasons why we do these sacrifices.

These become meaningful when….they are done out of charity, out of love, out of compassion. They should lead to a change of mind and heart.

“To think of Lent only as a time of penance is to do it an injustice. While the traditional practice of “doing something” for Lent is praiseworthy, there is much more to this wonderful season than just additional practices of piety or acts of penance and mortification. In Lent, the Church calls us to metanoia.

As a former Greek teacher, I take delight in pointing out that the word metanoia connotes a change of mind and heart, altering one’s mind-set toward whole new ways of thinking and acting. This involves taking a look at where we are and trying to see where we ought to be. It involves testing our values and discerning how they stack up against the values that Jesus offers his followers. ” -  Most Reverend Daniel E. Pilarczyk, Lent: More Than Penance.

As Fr. Rudy Horst, SVD tells us in today’s edition of Sabbath (Go to kerygmafamily.com to subscribe and receive it daily):

“Ascetic practices are good in themselves. There is no doubt about this. But ascetic practices without practicing charity at home, in the neighborhood and among those we meet and live with every day, are useless. Better eat chocolates and smoke your cigarettes and go to a movie even during Lent, but abstain from quarreling, cheating in exams, from lying and gossiping.

Better than abstaining is doing something good. Therefore, your best “fast” would be becoming the most charitable person possible. That’s the “fasting” the disturbing prophet Isaiah teaches us today on the third day of Lent.”

Change our hearts, O God. May everything we do be acts of love for you.

For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept. My sacrifice, God, is a
broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart. – Psalm 51:18-19

We are proud of our Zek.

Eversince he learned how to give alms, mostly in kind,  to the poor beggars on the streets, he has always been on the look-out for them and would eagerly ask anything from us for anything he can give out. And with an innocent understanding of what being poor is, he looks directly at the beggar’s face while handing out his alms then walks away with a joyous smile, knowing that he is able to help another person in need.

One incident though posed a huge challenge for his generosity towards the poor. After a short visit to a tree and plant nursery for Zek’s homeschool activity (see related blog link with the title “Let us Go Green” – http://zeksantos.i.ph/blogs/zeksantos/2009/12/), we passed by the small bakeshop that my wife regularly buys bread from. While inside the car and waiting for his mother, I caught a glimpse of an elderly beggar a few feet away from us. I called Zek’s attention towards the elderly while handing over a packed loaf of sweet bread from his mother’s bag.

Zek was motionless as a statue until he started to shed a tear in silent protest. I was caught off-guard with his reaction and inquired in the same instant, “Why are you crying Zek?”

“Daddy, this is my favorite bread and I am hungry now”, he said in breaking his silence about his unusual reaction to his alms-giving opportunity.

How truthful his declarations were.

After nearly two hours inside the tree nursery, he is much ready to devour any food that catches his attention. He is really hungry.

I also remember my wife telling me before that that bread is really one of his favorite bread. He can finish one loaf by himself with very little time to spare.

Right then and there, I needed to re-assure him.

“Zek, I know that you are already hungry and that this is your favorite bread, but you know mommy is out there in the bakeshop at this moment and buying another of your favorite bread for you to eat. She is also buying a good drink to go along with it for you to enjoy your snack more. Lolo over there, however is really more hungry than you and he has no mommy to buy him this bread.”

Zek hesitated and seemed to prolong his non-response. He still was visibly sad but after a longer after-thought, he went down the car and run towards Lolo and gave his favorite bread.

He came back to the car at the same time his mother arrived from the bakeshop. And as Zek was about to feel sad again about losing his favorite bread, his mother pulled out another loaf of bread – exactly the same kind which was actually under the bag which I failed to notice when I got the first one. Not only that, his mother showed him more breads bought from the bakeshop.

Zek was still sad but we knew that he understood in his young heart that we, his parents, know his needs and will provide for him no matter what.

He just needed to trust us.

A few more clock ticks and New Year is here.

While most of us are busy making personal resolutions to gain or improve our health, wealth and overall well-being, it should also make sense for us to pause and reflect what “favorite breads” of us are we willing to depart with in order to further serve the Lord in the coming year.

There are two types of “favorite breads”.

One type spoils and harms the soul. These are our favorite sins that we have become so accustomed to that it become like second skin for us. Lying, manipulation, corruption, injustice, rumor-mongering and gossiping, addiction to vices, spousal infidelities, bad temper, unforgiveness are to name a few. These things must top our agendas of things-to-avoid in the coming year.

Another type of “favorite breads” are more difficult to depart with because they bring happiness and fulfillment. Suffice to say, they are, at times, even essential. However, they can still hinder us from realizing our real calling and purpose in God’s over-all plan.

Think about these situations.
A man giving up his love of a lifetime to become a priest.
A wealthy man giving up his hard-earned belongings for the poor.
A couple leaving the comforts of simple living and braving hunger and persecution in far-flung areas to become missionaries of God’s love.

Of course, there will always be a “confused Zek” in us when these times of calling arrive into our lives.
We can be sad.
We can be anxious and wary.
We can protest in silence.
We can be fearful at what the future will hold for us and our loved ones.

However, we must take the time to listen to Him.

We can rest on His gentle voice that lovingly assures us of His guidance and providence.
In the end, we can and should trust in His promise.
Because His promise is always true.

After all, He is our Bread of Life.

Happy New Year to all.
God bless.

Parties, gifts, gadgets, crispy peso bills and new clothes…….

…have nothing to do with this.

Some of these are on your mind right now, plus the tons in your to do list,
and there are only a few days left before Christmas and 2010.

Can you feel the weight on your shoulders that even a good massage can’t relieve?

What should one do?

Here are 5 things to do before December 25 that would bring focus to the Reason of the season,
bring Soul back to your Christmas and prepare your self for His birth.

It will be the second wind you are looking for, the energy boost that you
lack and the critical break you need.

5 Things To Do Before Christmas

1. Step Back
With resolute intent, set aside a time for silence. Find a place or church
where you can really spend time with God. No need to start a conversation
in your thoughts. Let you heart speak with God’s heart.

Hear Him in silence.

Read the gospels from the four Sundays of Advent and the Christmas eve mass.
Slowly, deliberately taking time to let God’s Word sink in, cherishing the lines or
words that strike you. It would be good to write them down.

2. Look Back
Recall the past year.. Success, mistakes, people you met, rekindled. those who
helped you, even those who hurt you. Focus on your relationships with family,
friends and officemates. Have a look at how closer you are to God and how much
you depend on Him.

3. Assess Your Life
Have you improved your relationships? Which situations did you find beneficial for
others and yourself? Were there instances when your actions or inactions created
disagreements that led to broken friendships? Is being right all the time more important
than your loved ones? Have you intentionally sought to know God more, through prayer,
the bible and the sacraments?

4. Ask God
Present all these to God. Ask Him how He sees these things. Pray that He enlightens
you and speak His word to you. he will answer your prayers in ways you could never
begin to imagine. He come as Light. He is Emmanuel, God with us. Let Him guide you.

5. Resolve
More than a list of things to do or accomplish, focus on consistency than on numbers.
Put effort in constant acts of kindness and love, even when you do not feel like it.
Relationships are not about emotions. Love is about actions, of doing the good thing
for someone else, even and especially when it is uncomfortable.

Pray more often and regularly. It would help if you can set a particular time and place
where you can do this. This is how you basically know God more intimately.

6. Clean Up
I couldn’t resist inserting one more bonus step, which is actually crucial.

Ask for forgiveness from God, go to confession. Ask forgiveness from those you’ve hurt.

Clean up your stuff. You might want to go through your things and give generously to charity.
Especially those things that clutter your life, those that have not been used in a while
(and may probably be never used at all). Email me if you have stuff that would benefit
children and teens.

I’m sure doing all these things before Chrsitmas will give you a better perspective of the
Christmas Celebration. It takes off a lot of stress too =)

And On Christmas day, receive Him gladly with your heart wide open. Share the Joy
and spread the love, set the example of showing gratitude and say

“Come Lord, Jesus.”

I had the pleasure of getting acquainted with an economist (let’s call him H) who went to Cambodia a few weeks ago. He went there to take part in an Asean conference and presented some of his work. He told me two amazing stories.

After the conference, H had some time to see the sights and attend mass in the only catholic church in that area.  He arrived for mass a bit early and was invited by the the two missionary priests there for coffee. And there, the economist learned a great lesson how God works:

IT ONLY TAKES ONE.

The priest (Let’s call Him Father C) related that he grew up in a town where all the people where buddhists, except one (his uncle who became a Catholic after serving as a soldier). My friend wondered how the priest became what he
is now.

Fr. C continued (I am paraphrasing)

Back in grade school, we were learning about world religions: Islam, Buddhism, Christianity and the rest. For some reason, I was drawn to Christianity and got more curious and asked my uncle questions. The more I studied about it and the more deeper I wanted to get in. Finally, I decided that this is what I wanted to believe in, attended catechism and was baptized. Then I went on to study in the seminary and eventually wound up being where I am now.”

Now, their town is totally Catholic, except for a cousin who remains to be a Buddhist. God was really at work. We can only assume that the uncle was an intrument for the Fr. C’s conversion, and eventually the conversion of the whole town.

From “one” to “except one”.

end of first story

After the mass, Fr. C invited H to come with him. He would be celebrating mass for a village, whose houses are propped with stilts on the sea, much like the Badjaos of the Philippines.

It was a 2 hour boat ride fraught with dangers of the open sea. Fr. C celebrated mass for 25 people. Only 2 of them were baptized catholics, the rest were catechumens being prepared for baptism. There were no fireworks there but the back story is worth mentioning.

Some years back, Fr. C learned that there was one old lady who was a catholic in that fishing village. She used to live from another town but married and settled there.

When he learned about this, Fr. C asked permission from the bishop to say mass for her, even if she was alone which meant the priest had to go there – for one person. At first, the bishop was reluctant because of the dangers of travelling the sea. (By the way, the ride going to the dock from the place where the priest lived was more than an hour. The boat ride took another.) But Fr. C insisted and explained that the old lady would not have any support from the church if he didn’t go. The bishop gave his blessings and he has been saying mass there ever since. Now, more people are coming to know Jesus.

IT ONLY TAKES ONE.

End of second story; but your story continues.

Lord, please we pray for good weather and sunshine for at least two weeks. Amen.

Oratio Imperata for Deliverance from Calamities

Almighty Father, we raise our hearts to You in gratitude for the wonders of creation of which we are part, for Your providence in sustaining us in our needs, and for Your wisdom that guides the course of the universe.

We acknowledge our sins against You and the rest of creation.

We have not been good stewards of Nature.

We have confused Your command to subdue the earth.

The environment is made to suffer our wrongdoing, and now we reap the harvest of our abuse and indifference.

Global warming is upon us. Typhoons, floods, volcanic eruption, and other natural calamities occur in increasing number and intensity.

We turn to You, our loving Father, and beg forgiveness for our sins.

We ask that we, our loved ones and our hard earned possessions be spared from the threat of calamities, natural and man-made.

We beseech You to inspire us all to grow into responsible stewards of Your creation, and generous neighbors to those in need.

Amen.

When I was around 7 or 8, I remember going to mass with my family. My brother and I usually had the same shirt. After that, we would walk to Asiong’s Restaurant along F. Tanedo St., a few meters from the San Sebastian Cathedral in Tarlac and then eat “pancit” or ice cream on a cone. That was a weekly ritual of sorts that I remember with fondness. It became a family tradition. I look back and can’t help but smile.

Many families have their own unique traditions. They do not have to be grand nor should it always involve spending. Many are quite simple like early morning Sunday mass, garden breakfasts or Friday night board games.

Gina (my wife) Iani, Tesa (our daughters) and I have established some pretty unique family traditions of our own with our children. One of these is the Family Hug.

Before bedtime, we have our family prayer. Each one takes a turn leading the rest to a common prayer. We usually follow the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) pattern. At the end of the prayer, leader asks Mary, the angels and our favorite saints to intercede for us.

When the prayer ends, the leader sits (or stands) in the middle, with arms relaxed on her side. She prepares for the onslaught of arms and embraces and tickles. We hug tightly for a while or until the one hugged can’t bear the tickling anymore and give up. We kiss again and the kids lie down to sleep. Iani and Tesa enjoy this very much, as do we, their parents. Sometimes, they even try to take over one another’s slot just to enjoy the affirmations and privileges that go with leading the prayer.

Many years from now, we hope that this family tradition continues, no matter how much our lives will change.

So, what family traditions do you have or are making?

Create fond memories now.

Inspired by an article from Happy Nest.